What To Do When Your Goals Feel a Million Miles Away
We all have this idea in our heads that we will set ourselves a goal, we will work hard for a little while and then Bam! All our dreams come true. But the reality is that often we are putting in the work and we get to a point where we just feel like the goal post is getting further and further away. So here are some tips on how to make your goals feel more attainable and how to stay motivated to achieve them.
Toss The Timescale
With many goals, it is good to give yourself a date for when you would like to achieve it and this can sometimes give you the push and motivation to really go for it.
However, this doesn't work for everyone. If you have been slogging away but you aren't quite where you thought you would be at this stage then maybe it's time to take that pressure off of yourself.
It can be really disheartening if your 'achieve by' date is looming or even if it is a year away but you haven't achieved what you feel like you should have or could have yet.
You have to remember that goals take time and sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. Timescales will never stay the same because we have to allow room in our lives to go off course or for results to slow down even if we aren't.
So if you think that having that date looming over you is making you worry about if you are going to hit it then just get rid of it.
If your goal is to build a business so you can quit your job in 6 months time but your projections show that you probably won't hit that in time then what does it matter if you go a few months over?
Two things can happen when you start stressing about your deadline:
1. You give up because you don't think you will hit it anyway. So what's the point?
2. You stress out and feel shitty whilst working too hard and burning yourself out.
Please don't give up just because you aren't able to quit your job when you thought you could. If you give up then all your hard work will be undone and you will never be able to give up your day job.
Instead, take the pressure of the deadline off and just keep working hard until you are ready to quit it. It doesn't matter if that is in 6 months or 6 years. If that is your dream and you are doing everything you can then it will happen one day. But if you give up it won't happen at all.
If you fall under the burning yourself out category. Stop. Take a breath. Remember, don't be a prisoner to your deadline.
It is likely that if you are already doing everything that you can, then trying to do more won't help you. It will just burn you out until you have to take a step back for an extended period of time, once again putting your goals on pause.
So take a small break and realize that it isn't the end of the world if you won't hit the deadline you made up in your head. Just keep doing what you are doing until you hit it, whatever the date.
No matter what, the day you achieve your goal, whether it was 6 days before your deadline or 6 months after, you will still feel the same accomplished feeling at the end. And all your loved ones will still be so proud of you.
Break It Down
If you have a pretty ambitious goal that will take you a good while to hit then you need to break it down. Because if you are only rewarding yourself once you hit your goal, that is a long time to go without recognizing your achievements.
So break your goal into chunks. I like to call them stepping stones. They are smaller goals that will lead to you to your main goal.
So if you are looking to lose a significant amount of weight then your stepping stones could be to lose 10 pounds or to go to the gym 3 times a week for a whole month. Anything that is getting you closer to your goal can be recognized and rewarded because you are doing so good.
This will do wonders for your mindset. Before you know it you will look back and see you have hit 4 of your stepping stones, and only have two more to get to where you want to be.
Plus why not give yourself a pat on the back when you are feeling proud of the work that you are putting in? You would do the same for a friend, so don't treat yourself any differently.
Ultimately we all want to be happy and our goals are in place to make us happy. That is the "destination" right?
So if you are feeling miserable during the journey to achieving your goal then what's the point? Once you hit this goal, there is no doubt you will set another one as we are always striving for something more.
So that means that we are always going to be working towards something in life. So why spend your entire life stressing and pressuring yourself?
You need to start focusing on making the journey enjoyable so ease off a bit - or a lot.
Maybe you need to rethink your goals and if they will actually make you happy or if you are certain about the goal then how can you change how you get there?
As I discussed before, a lot of us can feel pressure or miserable because we are impatient and want everything right away. So just relax and take it easy and stop pressuring yourself to get it all done by a certain time.
I know this is a hard one because you are always going to want to be pushing forward and reaching things as fast as you can but I can assure you once you slow down and take in all those little achievements along the way, you will feel so much more fulfilled and at peace.
And before you know it you will be there, and because you stopped worrying about how long it would take to get you there, it came around in no time.
Find Your Inspiration Elsewhere
I think it is easy to find on the internet, women that have become super successful within a year or have lost a heck ton of weight in just a few months. And sometimes we look at these and get frustrated that we are not making the same progress as they have.
If we then don't hit the same milestones as them, it can make us feel inadequate and that we will never reach our own goals.
These stories are usually used to sell things to us. Of course, they are going to pick the person that did it the quickest or saw the most insane results. But there is a tonne of other women that have achieved just as much, but their story is just more realistic. Although these people can be harder to find and their stories not often told.
These crazy success stories are few and far between, that's why you see the same people on so many different platforms. And remember you don't have to believe everything you read or hear. There could be more to their story that they aren't telling.
But if you keep seeing these people and finding yourself frustrated then find new people and places to find your inspiration.
Start searching for those that are still on their journey but just a few steps ahead or maybe someone that did hit it but in a more realistic timeframe.
More than anything, simply find someone that you resonate with and inspires you instead of making you feel bad about yourself.
You should be constantly surrounding yourself with positivity. That will be what pushes you forward and helps you rock those goals. When you are feeling unmotivated or frustrated, this is going to hold you back and it won't allow yourself to be in the right mindset to put in the work.
So what action are you going to take to ease off on yourself and enjoy the journey?