Why do we put other people's needs before our own? People that don't need to be looked after or cared for, yet we still feel it necessary to put ourselves in a more difficult position for others. Now I am all for helping those you love and giving back but when it comes to your mental health and wellness there comes a time when you need to block out what everyone else needs and just focus on you. So how can you become more selfish and put yourself first?
1. Stop Saying Yes To Everything
If you keep saying yes to things that you don't want to do, do you know how much stress you're putting on yourself? When you keep doing things that do not bring you joy and only make you exhausted or even just a little annoyed you are punishing yourself.
There is no good reason why you should keep doing it. The people you say no to aren't going to hate you for it. And even if they did, that says something about them and maybe you shouldn't allow that type of person to dictate your life in any way anymore.
Start putting yourself first by really thinking about if you would actually like to do what it is you are being asked to do. Will it stress you out or make you feel miserable? Would you be going out of your way just appease this person? Be honest with the answer, and stop allowing yourself to be made to feel this way.
However, you still need to weigh up each situation. Of course, if your friend needs you to be there for them and it's not great timing for you, then you may have to put this aside for a moment. But if you are just appeasing other people for the sake of it you need to stop.
With less stress and by allowing yourself more me-time, it allows you to truly enjoy and cherish the moments that you are fully invested in.
2. Understand Your Needs
You need to start figuring out what type of person you are. If you are Type A or Type B, if you are an Introvert or an Extrovert. Are you doing things just because society or social media are telling you to?
Rather than going out drinking with your friends each weekend maybe what you would actually prefer to do is sit at home and watch Netflix. Just because your friends enjoy doing something doesn't mean that you do as well.
Really sit down and think about what you actually enjoy spending your time doing and how you envisage your life. Are you putting things on the back burner because you don't have time? Instead, your time is made up of doing the stuff you think you should be doing? It's time to start living your very own ideal life.
Don't just think about it, actually do it. Tell your friends you would rather have a night in and invite them round yours for pizza and a chick-flick. Are they not really into it? That's fine too, you can do it alone or you may find someone that loves doing the same thing as you. You never know your friends might have only been going out because they thought you loved it so much.
3. Start Something
What have you always wanted to do but never gotten around to doing? Did you want to learn an instrument or a new language? Did you want to take a few months off of work or school and go travel? Have you had a business idea or always wanted to start a blog?
What has your soul craved for that you have never given it? Whatever it is you need to go for it. Put your dreams first and don't let anything get in the way. Of course it will be hard work and will take a lot of dedication but you are working towards a happier you.
And that's the whole point of being more selfish. To start putting yourself first so you can be happier and live a more fulfilled life.
And stop worrying what other people will think of you. Who cares? Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to worry about what you are doing anyway. So stop thinking of others and start thinking of yourself and what you need to thrive.
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