How Getting Engaged Has Affected my Mental Health
If you are not aware, I have struggled with depression since being a teenager, hitting my lowest point in 2014/15. Also in the last few years I have developed anxiety. Now lately I have been getting a lot better, I believe I no longer suffer with depression but my anxiety can flair up at any time without warning. I get anxious about my past, about what other people think of me, about talking to people and how I am perceived. I also get anxiety watching other people's dreams come true when I am struggling to place myself within this world.
This is something I still work on but since my boyfriend has proposed, has changed quite dramatically.
Obviously, straight away I was in a state of bliss and thought nothing other than "Oh my god, I am engaged!". But now that it has worn off and become more of a reality I am still feeling good.
I feel like I have been given a map to my future and it just looks like bliss. I feel secure and happy with my relationship and we can now talk about all the amazing things that our future holds for us. I finally feel like things are falling into place. A lot of my anxiety was just feeling like I was going no where and my future was so uncertain but now it has really changed my view and it's such a good feeling.
Now I am not saying that I am cured in anyway. I can still have bad thoughts or get moments when I have to take some time out where my anxiety can get too much but they do pass and I can forget about them once they have happened.
It is funny, since Sam proposed I have been more outgoing. I have been round to his house more to see his family, I have even texted them a couple of times which is unheard of from me. (I have always had this anxiety with texting people first) I have visited friends and got more involved in social situations.
Now, because of this new found confidence my focus for next year is making more friends or being more social with the few I already have. I see on social media people meeting up with the girls and going out to do things with their friends regularly and I do get jealous and feel so lonely. Even though I have my fiancé I can't help but want some girl friends to be able to hang around with and just be girls. I will obviously let you know how this goes as I am fully aware how difficult it is to make friends as an adult.
Other than this though I am feeling so much better and I really am coming out the other side a better and happier person.
Are there things in your life that have effected your Mental Health positively?